Sunday, May 03, 2009

The New Curriculum

Granted, I should do the necessary research before embarking on these blog projects , but I'm assuming that Colleges and Universities(though perhaps not the overwhelming majority of them)still carry a Music Therapy major. This was popular in the mid-70's and into the 80's, and I knew a number of folks who went into it. They worked in hospitals and clinics, helping to restore health in their clients by means of music.

My question is, now that we're in the 21st century, if you're a music student at a Terrorist University, would you be able to major in Music Torture? I reckon it'd be like Music Therapy only you'd be endeavoring to cause pain and suffering rather than relieve it. You'd most likely start out with simple interrogations and then work your way up to the real horror.

For me, the music of torture would probably be a combo of Alvin and the Chipmumks, the Bee Gees, and a few tunes by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons(most notably "Big Girls Don't Cry"). Annoying vocal groups with high-pitched stylings are pretty much the root canal surgery of my psyche.

Of course for many, this would be Heaven. A steady diet of these groups would be a Nirvana they'd have to try mightily to conceal, lest it were taken away and replaced with, say, jazz(ugh!). A state of cosmic bliss as they listened, forever, to "cry-y-yyyy" and other such vocal--stylings..

Music Torture. What a concept. And as well how the music used as torture, the pieces of punishment, would vary from individual to individual. Who knows- I'm sure there'd be somebody out there(and yes, I'm giving you this one)to whom the worst possible experience would be having to listen to my music! "Aaaugh- I'll talk! Just turn that stuff off!!"

Well what the hell. At least it'd be getting played.