Tales from the Bandstand

Well most of the time you show up, play, and go home with not much to distinguish it from any other of 6 thousand gigs you've done. Hopefully made some nice music in the process and had a pleasant time with the others on the gig. That's enough to ask for.But every so often you have a doozy, one that is emblazoned in your memory as an Event. Here are a few of mine, a baker's half dozen :

6)This was out at the Airport, in one of the hangars, giving a lot of space of course. It was for some politician, and there were maybe 30 people in attendance. While he was giving his speech, the keyboardist in the band had set his synthesizer to white noise, that kkkkkkkk kinda static, which, blending into the 30 people applauding at various points in the speech, made it sound more like 300. Or 3000. The guy starts really getting into his speech, until he realizes it's us pumping his applause, and then of course gets kinda pissed off. By this time the whole band is limp from laughing.

5)I had a weekend gig at a fairly upscale hotel, up on the top floor overlooking the city(our only big building), a quartet: guitar, keyboard, bass & drums. The keyboard player , for reasons of his own, had apparently had to hock his amplifier--again, for whatever his reasons. In its place he brought a Home Entertainment Center(!) and hooked his keyboard through there. Kind of a weird look on the bandstand, having a TV/stereo system up there next to the instruments. On the breaks we could play Supernintendo, or tune in "The Jeffersons" or something...

4)Another weekend gig, less ritzy location: a Travelodge at the edge of town. Another quartet gig: guitar, bass, drums and female vocalist. Earlier in the week the drummer calls me with quite a tale: "Hey man, I've just had brain surgery this week(it was benign), and I can still make the gig(!)but I'm gonna look really weird!" I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted--so, the show must go on. His head had been shaved of course, and I'm sure there were angry red lines where they'd cut, but this was covered by a towel. Plus his eyes were all black and blue, so he had dark shades on. Even without knowing what was underneath, it was weird enough seeing someone in a relatively dark room wearing shades, and having a towel wrapped around their head! Just for the fun of seeing their reactions, I didn't tell the bass player or singer what was going on with him. They were shocked, to say the least.

3)This time it was me making musical anecdotal history. I once had a home-made bass which had a nice warm sound but very imperfect electronics. It would squawk at the most inopportune times(right, like there's a time to squawk), and was thus nicknamed the "squawk bass". Okay, so I'm playing a Muni Opera show: Hello Dolly, and it's a quiet dramatic scene with no music, so I set the bass down to watch the show. It immediately goes off with a loud "beeeeeeee" sound, at which point I lunge to turn off the amplifier. Once silence is restored to the pit, I look around and see all the other musicians doubled over in what is no doubt a mixture of hilarity and embarrassment. The next day before the show I went up to the actor whose scene I "ruined" and apologized profusely. "Oh hell", he snorted, putting me at ease. "I thought Dolly just had gas!" The actress playing Dolly, as it turned out, was standing right behind him, looking horrified.

2)This one wasn't actually within a band I was in but an event I was playing. The Calgary Stampede was the event, and this was July of '85, in Calgary, Alberta. I remember seeing people literally falling-down drunk leaving one of the places there. The band in question was a Blues Band playing at the same hotel as us. They'd apparently drunk their entire week's pay(yes yes much like the Blues Brothers movie..)and I did get to see them carry their guitarist off the stage as he was too bombed to play..

1)This was an outdoor event, an evening gig with several bands playing. I was about 18 and the bass player in a 4-pc rock band: 2 gtrs, bass & drums. One of the guitarists, who was also the bandleader, was one of those guys(or gals)who's immensely talented and a little bit nuts. His brother was a saxophonist, not sure of the talent but just as nuts if not more so. So we're waiting to go on, and the guy's brother is off 10 feet from us with his arms outstretched looking up at the sky. I'm pretty sure some hallucinogenic materials were ingested here(remember, too, this was 1972). We ask the bandleader what his brother is doing. "Oh, he thinks he's making this whole thing happen".

Well those are a few of my--well, I don't know about favorite, but certainly memorable gigs. Hopefully they're somewhat entertaining to read about. They were pretty entertaining to experience. I probably could've done without the "squawk bass" experience though....